Last House on the Left

    This plodding, short on reasonable dialogue, remake of the Wes Craven film, released in 1972, is watchable if you love gore, rape scenes, long strung out vengeance battles between good and evil foes, with an eventual outcome that may leave you satisfied, and then again, it may not. I found the movie to be slow at 110 minutes of runtime, and predictable, with its measure of the depravity of evil men, as its only artistic yardstick, to gauge the necessity of its production.

    The film's only redeeming virtue is that justice is finally served after all the depravity can be significantly wrung out of the subhuman beings that drive the unmitigated terror, which is the plot of this misguided film. So the bad guys get it in the end. How novel, and thanks a lot for all the gratuitous gore, and that really cute rape scene. I suppose I never would have understood the plot without it.

    If I have spoiled this movie for you, and that pisses you off, do yourself a favor: Don't rent the DVD, and please don't come back to this website until you grow-up ... Significantly.

    Rated R. Released on DVD August 18, 2009.