Author: Wyatt Sanderman Day | Published: September 15th, 2009

    
Just Like a Terrible Accident, While Rubber - Necking

    I could not avert my eyes. I am not proud of this fact: That I would continue to watch such a disgustingly violent, sex strewn film that made no point, whatsoever, other than to promote their story of Chev Chelios, the "human toon," surviving an audacious gauntlet of malevolent trials that are, quite frankly, unbelievable in scope. And yet I continued to watch.

     It must be that I posses, at some subliminal level, a curiousity in witnessing the fantastic become real through the inhuman strength of will of the man who has about an hour to achieve the impossible. Chev Chelios, ferociously portrayed by the mercurial Jason Statham, battles through every absurd adversity to overcome impossible odds, leaving copious bleeding bodies in his wake, to achieve his objective - to restore his stolen heart to its rightful place, in his chest cavity.

     "Crank 2: High Voltage," as its name implies, is a sequel. To fully appreciate that Chev needs to get his heart back, you probably need to have seen the first "Crank." As preposterous as it must seem, Chev's heart was taken from him by some back alley surgeon in Los Angeles' China Town, and he was kept alive so that the remainder of his superior internal and exterior organs could be harvested.

     Chev is truly a valuable entity in the independent value of his body parts, but moreover, the sum of Chev's body parts, functioning as a unit is very deadly - even with an artificial heart that must be electrically charged every few minutes, or it just stops while Chev is mobile searching for his heart. As in the first "Crank," when Chev would do anything to keep his heart pumping after being poisoned by a Chinese underworld leader, this edition of Chev showcases him using any source of electrical power to sustain the pumping of his implanted heart.

     This is very funny, especially when it involves his using the natural charge from the friction of human interaction. Chev, who discovers his ex-girlfriend, Eve Lydon, played by Amy Smart, dancing in the nastiest strip club, frees her from the bondage of that sin to engage in yet another - public coitus at the race track (obviously for the friction into an electrical charge from the human interaction).

     Yes, the film is superior in its crass view of the human populace, and it delivers that nasty blow in scene after scene, until you either submit to the art of this odd comedy, or you turn it off vowing to never again endure such disgusting trash. I endured the disgusting trash, accepted it as comedic drama in the guise as raving man as "human toon," and enjoyed the laughter. There are some scenes that are truly wrong in a world refreshed with any semblance of common decency. I obviously found the film, to be funny enough to detract me from the notice of the terrible world that swirled about Chev Chelios, and therefore, finished this 96 minutes of improbable nonsense and the humor that righted my opinion of this sinking ship of a film.

     I know I should be disgusted, as I am sure that you, of decent character, are or will be upon the viewing of this film. Then again, you may find the unique visage of Chev, the "human toon," doing the impossible to further mere minutes of his sorry existence hilarious.

     Regardless, the film is over-the-top in every dimension, and it is the lesser film to the former "Crank." I still find the find the picture worth my time, maybe you will too after being sufficiently warned.

     Rated R. September 8, 2009.

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